Q: Why do your siblings give you such grief about making a catapult? Our human made us a working 1:6 ballista, and has promised us an onager. They should encourage your spirit of inquiry.

A: My siblings are still bitter about the catapult because we all had to spend a week helping with the post-fire cleanup. How was I to know that my catapult would be strong enough to reach a hot pan of oil in the kitchen?! My planned trajectory was the hallway. There were no hot pans of oil in the hallway. That’s the last time I build a war machine out of kitchen utensils.

I do not deserve this reputation. When I create my next invention without a single spark, they will see that the catapult incident was just a fluke.

I’ll show them. I’ll show them all.

Q: I’m having trouble with some of the cats and dogs in our neighborhood. Do you have any advice—or inventions—to help action figures avoid becoming chew toys?

A: I was working on a keep-away spray, but it dissolved Alex’s clothes for some reason and I’m not allowed to work with chemicals any more.

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