Action Figure Diary—Episode Gallery

(#133) Jane: Animal advice for action figures

Q: Iíve noticed a lot of new dogs in our neighborhood lately. They havenít attacked me or any of my action figure siblings yet, but I know it happens a lot. What should we do?

A: Whatever you do, donít carry dog treats to try to pacify the beastsóit just makes you smell like a dog treat. (I heard about an action figure who tried thatóthey called him Stumpy.)

The way I understand it, handling a dog is really about attitude. Iíve seen a home video of three big Dobermans running from one little Cocker Spaniel just because she acted like the boss of them. Dogs are pack animals and follow the strongest leader, so be that leader. Use a strong, firm voice and make clear that youíre the boss. Thatís what I would do.

Q: Our neighbors recently got a kitten. It hasn't attacked me or any of my action figure siblings yet, but we are afraid it is only a matter of time. One of my brothers has the crazy idea that he wants to tame it and ride it around. What should we do?

A: Lock your brother in a room and donít let him out until he admits that he isnít He-Man and thereís no such thing as a Battle Cat. Just kidding . . . not really. How has your brother survived this long?

Cats are a big problem for living action figuresómany of us get mauled because theyíre hard to hide from and very tough to intimidate. Personally, I avoid them. But if Iím ever attacked by a cat, I wonít go down easy. If humans can sometimes fight off sharks with a punch to the snout, maybe action figures can fight off cats the same way. Itís worth a try.

* Send your question to Jane--or any of our other action figures--by filling out our Ask the Action Figures form.
| Posted by TSB | Week of 01/29/07 | Permalink |


TSB wrote:
The part about the Dobermans and the Cocker Spaniel really happened, although I don't have it on video. Three Dobermans got loose and tried to get into my mother's yard, and her little, blonde Cocker Spaniel barked, snapped, and chased them away. If it were possible for Dobermans to be embarrassed, those three sure would be! (Imagine all the teasing they'd get from the other tough breeds...)
01/30/07 19:16:53

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