Action Figure Diary—Episode Gallery

(#161) Jane: Advice on stupid ponies

Q: My parents are always unreasonable about my Christmas list. I think I have a better chance of getting what I really want if I ask for something outrageous, like a submarine or a pony. What would you do?

A: I would make this exact same mistake and then suffer for it terribly. I asked for a pony as a negotiation tactic and now my family is torturing me with it. Every little thing I ask for these days is answered with, ďBut you just asked for a pony.Ē I had no idea they were such evil geniuses. Why canít they take over the world or something and leave me alone?!

I live in fear now. Every time one of them goes out, I worry that they will come back with a stupid pony. I know that would be taking it too far, but you donít know them! They are weird enough to get a stupid pony just to torture me even more. Stupid pony will probably get its own room even though Iíve been asking for my own room for years and I never get one! Or worse, Iíll probably have to share my room with the stupid pony and then it will be pony, pony, pony all the time and I wonít ever be able to get away from it.

Stupid pony will probably eat up my whole allowance and every time I try to go out they will tell me I have to take it for a walk or they will make me take it with me and Iíll have a stupid pony tagging along after me all the time like the weirdest little brother ever. Stupid pony will probably laugh at me the whole time and think itís funny that Iím its tiny slave.

I canít take the suspense any more. Iím having nightmares about them coming home with a stupid pony. I can only think of one way out of this. It will be extreme and difficult, but itís probably my only hope.

I know what I have to do.

* Send your question to Jane--or any of our other action figures--by filling out our Ask the Action Figures form.
| Posted by TSB | Week of 11/26/07 | Permalink |


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