Action Figure Diary—Search Results

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(#97) Jane: Like a fire brigade

(1) JANE: How are you going to use a fire extinguisher that's bigger than you? ALEX: Easy--stand it next to the chair and climb up the chair. (2) LISA: That should work. JANE: Yeah, but the setup wastes time. Maybe we should leave it standing up, ready to use. (3) BRIAN: This isn't necessary because I'm still in the drawing phase. I can't start a fire with my pencil. (4) JANE: We could take turns manning it, like a fire brigade. BRIAN: I'm taking a break. I can't invent under these conditions.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 05/21/06 | Permalink | Comments (5) |

(#99) Brian: I could be so much more

Brian
I wish I could do my inventing somewhere else. This environment is not conducive for me at all. My short-sighted siblings are so blinded by the memory of that accidental catapult fire (that wasnít my fault) that they canít appreciate my grand vision. I could be so much more if they werenít holding me back.

When my blur button is complete, I will have fulfilled my destiny as humanityís intellectual offspring by improving human lives. And when the reporters ask about my magnificent achievement, I just might have to mention that I had to toil away at my amazing creation in our apartment, without the benefit of proper laboratory conditions!

And perhaps someone with influence and connections will recognize how much more I could accomplish in the right environment and help me gain access to a real laboratory. With the appropriate equipment and the companionship of worthy colleagues, who knows how far I could go?!

That would be magnificent.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 06/04/06 | Permalink | Comments (2) |

(#18) Trish: Don't make me regret it

(1) TRISH: You two have been whispering together a lot lately. What's going on? BRIAN: We're working on a project. (2) TRISH: A project, huh? Do I have your word that it won't involve catapults or fire this time? BRIAN: Yes! I learned my lesson after the incident. (3) BRIAN: Besides, that was a physics project. This is a psychological project. LISA: It's perfectly safe! (4) TRISH: Okay, I'm going to give you guys the benefit of the doubt. Don't make me regret it. LISA & BRIAN: Okay, Trish!


| Posted by TSB | Week of 11/14/04 | Permalink | Comments (1) |

(#56) Brian: That only happened once

(1) JANE: I should have known that you'd give that money to charity, Lisa. If I won, I'd buy movies or cool Xena stuff. (2) ALEX: I'd spend the money on comic books. (3) BRIAN: I'd purchase supplies for some special projects I want to do. (4) JANE: Remember the rules, Brian. No more fires! LISA: No more catapults! ALEX: No more flaming catapults! BRIAN: That only happened once!

| Posted by TSB | Week of 08/07/05 | Permalink | Comments (1) |

(#94) Brian: Invention advice for action figures

Brian
Q: Why do your siblings give you such grief about making a catapult? Our human made us a working 1:6 ballista, and has promised us an onager. They should encourage your spirit of inquiry.

A: My siblings are still bitter about the catapult because we all had to spend a week helping with the post-fire cleanup. How was I to know that my catapult would be strong enough to reach a hot pan of oil in the kitchen?! My planned trajectory was the hallway. There were no hot pans of oil in the hallway. Thatís the last time I build a war machine out of kitchen utensils.

I do not deserve this reputation. When I create my next invention without a single spark, they will see that the catapult incident was just a fluke.

Iíll show them. Iíll show them all.

Q: Iím having trouble with some of the cats and dogs in our neighborhood. Do you have any adviceóor inventionsóto help action figures avoid becoming chew toys?

A: I was working on a keep-away spray, but it dissolved Alexís clothes for some reason and Iím not allowed to work with chemicals any more.

* If you want to send a question to Brian (or any of the other action figures), please fill out our advice form.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 04/30/06 | Permalink | Comments (3) |

(#100) Alex: My kung fu is the best

(1) ALEX: I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I hid that fire extinguisher near your project because I wanted to help you. BRIAN: I don't see your meaning, but I do believe you. (2) ALEX: If we have another fire, you probably won't be allowed to invent any more. But if I'm prepared to put out the first spark, I can help keep your dream alive. (3) Alex . . . I don't know what to say. (4) ALEX: You could say that Superman rules, Batman drools, and my kung fu is the best! BRIAN: Batman rules! Superman was born that way!

| Posted by TSB | Week of 06/11/06 | Permalink | Comments (4) |

(#95) Alex: I have a safety plan

(1) LISA: Since there's a risk of fire, we should discuss safety. BRIAN: Don't worry, Lisa. I'll be careful. ALEX: I have a safety plan. (2) JANE: 'Careful' isn't enough--these are electronics! BRIAN: I know what I''m doing! (3) JANE: You're so stubborn! BRIAN: I'm stubborn?! ALEX: I hid a fire extinguisher under the table! (4) LISA: Good thinking, Alex! JANE: YOU did that?! BRIAN: You did THAT?! ALEX: Ta-dah!

| Posted by TSB | Week of 05/07/06 | Permalink | Comments (3) |

(#98) Jane: Bet I can hit the stereo

(1) JANE: This looks like a good plan, but I should probably do a quick test to be sure. Do you think I can reach the stereo from here? LISA: Jane, darling, please put the pin back in and step away from the fire extinguisher.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 05/28/06 | Permalink | Comments (2) |

(#57) Jane : I wish poker had do-overs

(1) ALEX: In Brian's defense, he didn't mean for that catapult to catch fire. JANE: A likely story. (2) JANE: All this chatter is fun, but I could use better cards. (3) LISA: You had good cards in the last hand. You shouldn't have folded. (4) JANE: Yeah... I wish poker had do-overs.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 08/14/05 | Permalink | Comments (1) |

(#90) Brian: My new invention

(1) LISA: What are you doing, Brian? BRIAN: Fulfilling my destiny as humanity's intellectual offspring. My invention will improve human lives! (2) LISA: A teleporter? JANE: A remote that inflicts pain on telemarketers? BRIAN: No--I am inventing the BLUR BUTTON. (3) BRIAN: It's a mute button for the eyes. If a TV scene is too bloody, they can press this button to blur the screen. (4) LISA: That's a great idea! JANE: If it doesn't start a fire. BRIAN: That only happened ONCE!

| Posted by TSB | Week of 04/02/06 | Permalink | Comments (1) |

(#109) Brian: Making it work

Brian
I have fulfilled my destiny as humanityís intellectual offspring. My blur button is a successóit makes the screen blurry! Unfortunately, I didnít anticipate that the audio would jump to the Spanish simulcast. I hope to be able to fix that, but if I canítóI will find a way to make it work.

Bilingual families or people trying to learn a second language might like it. Schools might see it as a teaching opportunity. Oh, and if I make it available to schools, those kids will grow up to buy one later! On second thought, that strategy failed for Macintosh, so never mind.

I wonder what happens if you use the blur button on a station that doesnít have a Spanish simulcast. Will the audio stay stable, or will it go mute? What if I make it jump to a Spanish station with an English simulcast and then jump back again?

This didnít go the way I wanted it to, but Iím trying to stay positive. I met my primary objective of blurring the screen. I didnít start a fire. (Take THAT, Jane!) Joe seems happy. And Alex is now whiling away the afternoon learning Spanish terms for autopsy procedures.

I can live with that.

| Posted by TSB | Week of 08/13/06 | Permalink | Comments (0) |